I keep certain personal aspects hidden and am on guard.
And yet I have a way of diving in heart and soul.
This leads to too many heartaches.
Is it all worth it?
So far, I'm not sure.
I like to think that I have learned (something, no matter how small) from each occasion.
And I don't regret most of those moments.
But it hurts.
I don't know if it gets easier.
Maybe a little... the first time is always the hardest.
I toughened up since then.
But I still feel fragile and vulnerable.
I have trouble walking away.
This has always been my major weakness. My Achilles' tendon.
I don't like to give up.
But just think of how much easier things would be.
How uncomplicated. How simplistic. How unburdened and carefree.
But there's always that "what could be..."

I think I need to let go. At least for now...